Merry Christmas Everyone

Wow, wow, and wow! Where did the time go between Thanksgiving and now? How about between January 1, 2011 and now. We are almost at the close of another year. Christmas is only 9 days away, the day that we celebrate the birth of our Saviour (well those of us who choose to celebrate it on that day). I hear many argue about when he was born, when he was not born, etc. etc. It matters not to me if the 25th is the correct date or not. I am just so glad He was born! Lord, I thank you so much for life. For my life. For the good times, bad times, trying times. I thank you for allowing me to take a breath each new day. God is the joy and the strength of my life. I am not ashamed to proclaim it to the world! He is everything to me. I have truly seen Him turn my "mourning into dancing; my sorrow into joy."

You might not receive a lot of gifts this year. You might not have a "boo" or "booette" (as my Pastor calls them) to spend the holidays with. You might not even have a family. But guess what we do have. We have Jesus. The baby that was born of a virgin. The one who was born, lived, died, and rose again for us.

Take the time this season to share a smile with someone less fortunate than yourself. Give them a hug. A kind word. A gift! But please do not let this Christmas pass you by without lifting your hands and saying "Thank you Jesus."

I love this song: "Jesus, Jesus, oh what a wonderful child; Jesus, Jesus, so holy, meek and mild; new life, new hope to all He brings, listen, to the angels singing. Glory, Glory, Glory to the newborn king!"

Everybody sing it!

With love and gratitude, I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas.

Lemon
The Barren Woman

Still Giving Thanks

Although I do not want anymore turkey or ham, I am still giving thanks. This was a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend, and the more I look around me, the more I realize how truly blessed I am. I was able to spend time with my family, and that means so much to me. There are so many who do not have a family at all. So many spent this weekend alone and sad. Although I would have loved another day off, I was BLESSED to have a job to go back to today. There are so many who do not have a job and are in dire need of one to take care of their families. Although it was a cold, rainy day, I still had shelter when it was dark. There are so many who will spend the night in this cold dreary weather with no form of physical shelter. As I was giving a man a donation today for the paper, he said, "It is so cold and rainy out here." I realized the truth of what he was saying. He was homeless and knew that the night would only make it worse for him.

Truly, we have so much to be thankful for. And we have so much that we can give back to others. Please do not allow this season to pass without giving something to someone less fortunate than yourself. It might not always be in the form of money. It can be your time, a kind word, a gentle touch, a smile.

Luke 6:38
New International Version (NIV)

38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Be blessed,

Lemon

Forgiveness, Memories, and Trust...what a combination!

I have tried and tried to get this thing off of me for the last few nights, but I cannot. I have been awakened at least the last three nights, feeling that I needed to write this blog. Each time, I would just make excuses, saying things like, “Oh, I don’t feel like getting up and turning on the computer...etc., etc.”

But if I have learned one thing in the last 3 years it is this, when God says do something, I had better do it. It could be to help just one person. Well here goes.
The issue is not forgiveness, (this time), it is remembrance. I have been hurt “to the quick” (as they say) by men (two husbands) who said they loved me dearly. I often say (to myself), that they both left me for dead. They were able to walk away from our marriage and never look back. One after 12 years, and one after only 5 years (I guess he figured no use of staying any longer…) Now believe me, I have had to do some soul searching myself to see why they “love me and leave me.” I have come up with a few things (smile).

But the issue here is that although I “feel” that I have forgiven both of these men, (and some others…let’s not go there), I cannot seem to forget. I know, I know. We always say “I can forgive, but I can’t forget.” But, should those times of remembering cause you to get so worked up that you can hardly think or focus? Should they cause you so much sadness that you want to retreat back to your “safe” place, but you remember how long it took you to get where you are; so you dare not go backwards.

There are many things that trigger my memory. It can be something on tv, something that I hear, something or someone that I see. And then, it is like “boom”, I am thrown back to the early morning hours of October 25, 2008, when my husband stood in our bedroom doorway (with his “bag” packed) and announced “I am leaving now.” He was going to be with his pregnant mistress who would give birth only a few days later.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I want you to know that when I say I understand your hurt, I truly mean it. I know there are different types of hurt, and I know that we have all been hurt in some way. But the only hurt I can really tell you about is my own.

So I asked God the other night, why the memories? Because honestly, if God wanted to, He could wipe away all of the hurt and pain, and memories. (And I am not saying that I want Him to do that, because I don’t want my memory taken away.) But He “reminded” me, that the memories “remind” me of what an awesome God He is! How can you feel you are living in a dark hole one moment (or in some cases one year or more) and then you look up one day and life has gone on. You did not die (physically or emotionally), and suddenly He has turned your mourning into dancing.
Do I like having these memories? There are many more…too numerous to even write about. No, I don’t particularly like them. But they do help me to see that there is nothing too hard for God. There is no hurt that He cannot heal. There is no pain that He does not feel. There is nobody greater than our God!

And then I realize the bigger issue is really not the memories, it is the issue of trust. I would not be honest with you if I told you that my trust in mankind has been restored. It has not, and I just know that God will help me.

My dear friends, please do not be so hard on yourself because of the memories. You do not have the power to wipe them away. But you do have the power to decide how you will handle them when they arise. I want you to be encouraged today. God makes no mistakes. If He brought you to it, He will definitely see you through it. Until next time….

Lemon
The Barren Woman

So Far, So Good

Since we last talked, I have continued my pursuit to greatness...i.e., my weight loss goal! I am still pressing my way to the gym at least 4 days a week, and the Zumba is getting a little better. I am carefully restructuring my eating habits on a daily basis, and trying to make better choices. I am now focusing on what I can do to up the ante on my exercise plans. I think I need to add some things. The most important part of all of this is that I know I can and will do this. With God's help, all things are possible for me. I have set a 2-year goal to meet my weight loss plans of losing at least 150 pounds. I know! WOW! That's a lot of weight to lose. But, it was a lot to gain. Believe me, I feel every bit of it.

God is so good to me, and I thank Him for His mercies each day. I cannot tell you that I am at the point where I WANT to get up each morning and go to the Y to workout, but I DO get up. That is a major step for me. To God be the glory for the things He is doing each day. I pray that I can be a walking example of what you can do if you trust Him and work hard.

It's A New Season

Wow, so much has happened since we last talked. In September, I sold my home. It was only on the market for 1 day, and we closed in exactly 30 days. The whole story is a miracle in itself, and a testament of what God will do if we (I) just trust Him. We have to take Him at His word, and dare not doubt for a moment. With the way that our economy is, to be able to open and close on a home in 30 days is nothing far from a miracle from God Himself! And I thank Him every, every day.

Now that I have relocated, I have decided to tackle this one major thing that I have tried to fight, ignore, hide from, for so long. My weight. Although I believe I am a beautiful person (hey, if you don't think so, who will?), I still know that I am not a healthy person. After enjoying a beautiful trip to Bahamas on my birthday, I came back to the realization that there is no better time than now. I have trusted God with every area of my life (not to say that I have always done what He said...I would not dare make such a bold statement.) But now, I must trust Him with that one area that will require a great deal of work from me in the physical sense. I must now redirect my attention to this physical vessel. So, beginning this past Tuesday, I began my "visits" to the local YMCA. I have been using the treadmills, bikes, and strengthening and toning equipment. I have developed a healthier eating plan, and am trying very hard to stick with it. I know that for me eating healthier and exercising regularly, prefaced with much prayer, is what will help me to become a healthier version of me! No fad diets or quick fix programs will help me (not for long anyway). I attended a Yoga class this week that had me sweating as though I had run a mile. (And everyone else in the class was a senior adult. They seemed to have no problems. haha) Next week, I will "attempt" to begin the Zumba class.

As Oprah says, this one thing I know for sure. I know this will be a long road, but I am taking it one day at a time. With the help of God, I can do this. I encourage you to face that one thing that you dread the most. Ask yourself if this is the time to face it. Take baby steps. What can you do this week to begin the process of correcting it.

Take care, and I will update you on my progress soon.

Lemon Drops

The Time Has Almost Come

Well, let me tell you. God is about to close this chapter of my life. I will give you more details later. I am so excited about the hand of God and the wonders of His work. There is a song that says "He's a wonder to my soul..." or "...in my soul..." I never seem to get all the words right. But I am here to tell you that God will never, ever, ever leave you nor forsake. He is always right there. We just have to trust Him. I am learning each day to trust Him all the more. I encourage you today to begin to praise God for what you are expecting. Praise Him in advance. Do not wait until you can see it! Thank Him now. I am telling you the best is yet to come! God has something in store for you.

"Be blessed my brother. Be blessed my sister. Be blessed wherever this life leads you. Let me encourage you. Let me speak life to you. You can depend on God, to see you through. You can depend on me to pray for you." (Bishop Paul Morton)

Love,

Lemon

Late in the Midnight Hour

The last few days I have been in a, well, uh, I don't quite know what to call it. It is that feeling that I get whenever something is about to happen. I cannot put my finger on it, but it causes me to not feel like myself. Well, the myself that most people know and expect to see each day. It is that feeling that causes me to want to be by myself (actually to need to be by myself). That feeling that causes me to be afraid to even talk to people because I might not say just the right thing, or the thing they might want to hear. It is that "late in the midnight hour" feeling, where I know HE is trying to speak to me. Yes, little ole me. And the something that is about to happen might not always be what I want, or would like, but HE knows what is best for me. It is that feeling that causes me to be up this time of the morning, with the feeling of sleep no where in sight.

Anyway, when He keeps you awake this time of the morning, listen for His voice. He is trying to speak in the midnight hour(s). God is gonna turn it around. It's gonna work in your favor. (Thanks Fred Hammond).

And everybody say "blessed!"

Standing on the promises.

www.imagoodwoman.com

Here is the link to one of my newest friend's online magazine and webpage. She was so very gracious to feature my story this month.

http://www.imagoodwoman.com/this-good-woman.html

Just Thinking

I was just sitting here, thinking. Thinking about all that is happening in my life right now. God is on the throne, and He has shown me what is about to happen. You would think I would be so excited, and I am. But it also seems overwhelming. I have always known and believed the scripture that states "...to whom much is given, much is required."

Luke 12:48 (King James Version)

48But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.


This season of Lent has meant so much to me. It has caused me to look within myself to get a greater understanding of what Jesus did for me when He gave His life on the cross. I know that fear is not of God, and He is teaching me to trust Him, in the small matters as well as the big ones.

I encourage you to do the same. Trust Him with everything; with all of you! He keeps His promises. And He will never harm you.

Be blessed,

Lemon
The Barren Woman

Remembering His Sacrifice in This Season

"They nailed Him to the cross for me....One day when I was lost...He died upon a cross...and I know it was the blood for me..."

On this first day of Lent, I cannot stop thinking of how much He loves me. How much He sacrificed for me. How "unselfish" He was. Jesus gave His life that I might have life. And He never promised me a life free of hurt or anguish or disappointments. Sometimes I can focus more on what I have experienced instead of focusing on who He is.

Here is the remainder of the lesson from last night's service (taught by Pastor Darryl Drumwright of the Temple Church, Nashville, TN). He said that these would be 40 days of consecration and self-reflection. These 40 days are patterned after the experience of our Lord Jesus Christ. The ashes (of Ash Wednesday) tell a story.

*The ashy cross declares that we are marked (II Cor 7:10)
*We are "marked for grief." The grief over sin.
*We are "marked for mortality." Genesis 3:19
*We are "marked for His glory." I Cor 6:19-20 (Our whole lives testify to His goodness.
*We are "marked for attack." I Peter 5:8 (We become subject to all matters of attack.)

I have made a conscience decision of the things that I will sacrifice during this period of Lent. But these things don't even compare to what I have already received. I have received a life in Christ that surpasses anything that I can think or feel. Sure, I have endured many disappointments in this life. But God is not a man that He would lie. He is the one who keeps all promises. He is the one who carried the very cross that He would die on. He and He alone gave ALL that He had for us. As I ready myself for sleep tonight, I sign off with this thought. "What shall I render, unto God, for all His blessings? What shall I render, unto God, what shall I give?"

Be blessed everyone,

Lemon

It's More Than Just the Ashes

After 44 years of life, I attended my first Ash Wednesday service tonight. I have to tell you it was a true blessing to me. I cannot stop thinking about how I felt, and how humbled I was to know that Jesus actually gave His life for me.

The main reason I went was to finally find out what this Ash Wednesday and 40 days of Lent were all about. I had always thought it was only for Catholics, but to my surprise, I found out differently. I thought about something while in service. If Jesus gave His all for all of us (including Christians), then why would only a particular group honor Him in this way? This past Sunday I actually went online so I could read the history of Ash Wednesday. I encourage everyone to do this.

One of the main things that my Pastor said tonight that will always stick with me is this: "It is unreasonable for us (Christians)to look forward to Easter Sunday without ever giving thought to the period that leads up to it." (I actually paraphrased his words...I will have to get my notepad out of the car tomorrow night so that I can quote him correctly...I do not want to misquote him.) But what I took that to mean was we (Christians) focus so much on Easter Sunday (and packing our churches full of people so we can put our talents on display) that we forget how we actually got to Easter. He (my pastor) said that "Jesus did not just "get up" on Easter Sunday, but He went through a lot of suffering to get there." (again paraphrased)

Therefore, here is what this 40 day period of Lent will mean to me this year. It is a time of sacrifice. Sacrificing not only some food items, but also some worldly pleasures. Giving up some of the things that are not even worthy of holding on to anyway. I could never come close to the sacrifice that Jesus made for me.

During this Lent season, I do not have time to check others, because I am going to focus on "checking myself!" I must watch what I am doing, saying, going, behaving, treating others, etc., etc.

Tonight for me begins 40 days of consecrating my mind, body, and soul unto the Lord in a way that I have never done before.

"What shall I render, unto God, for all His blessings? Tell me what, shall I render, unto God, what shall I give?"

Lovingly, Lemon

God hears us Night Owls too....

 ^25-26Along about midnight, Paul and Silas were at prayer and singing a robust hymn to God. The other prisoners couldn't believe their ears. Then, without warning, a huge earthquake! The jailhouse tottered, every door flew open, all the prisoners were loose.

 ^27-28Startled from sleep, the jailer saw all the doors swinging loose on their hinges. Assuming that all the prisoners had escaped, he pulled out his sword and was about to do himself in, figuring he was as good as dead anyway, when Paul stopped him: "Don't do that! We're all still here! Nobody's run away!"

 ^29-31The jailer got a torch and ran inside. Badly shaken, he collapsed in front of Paul and Silas. He led them out of the jail and asked, "Sirs, what do I have to do to be saved, to really live?" They said, "Put your entire trust in the Master Jesus. Then you'll live as you were meant to live—and everyone in your house included!" (Acts 16:25-30, The Message)

I was just sitting in my living room wondering why I was still up. Here it is after midnight, and while the rest of the world is probably asleep, I am sitting here acting like it is the middle of the day. "I don't feel no ways sleepy..." lol

I know that my body clock is off. I could actually stay up all night until around 5 am if I wanted to. Most nights I have to make myself fall asleep. I have to lie in the dark and quiet of the night (or early morning hours) and allow myself to drift off. Usually while I am doing that, I am talking to Him! The one who made me. The one who continues to give me life and breath. I have been a night owl for a long time now, and am not sure if that will ever change. There are even times when I am with all of my sisters and everyone (and I mean everyone) has fallen asleep. I just lay there in the darkness and stillness of the night and wonder why I am the only one still awake. But, in my mind, I know why.

I work in a very hectic environment. From the time I get to work until the time I leave it is nonstop people, chaos, issues, situations, busy, busy, busy. I sometimes feel as though I am putting out one fire after another, or simply trying to encourage someone. Don't get me wrong...I love what I do for a living, and I am thankful for my job. Then, when I am not working, there are the other things that I am involved in; things that I love and know God has allowed me to do. He has allowed me to be a source of encouragement for others. I am thankful for that.

So, when I leave work, and get home, it is a time of relaxation for me. It is that time that I can truly allow my mind to be free. It takes me a while to wind down; to actually realize that my mind does not have to go a hundred miles a minute anymore. But there is something about the midnight hour. I feel God talking to me then. I know that most people say their personal devotion time is early in the mornings. I have tried it and continue to try. But it is during the midnight hour that God speaks to my spirit. It is during these times that I feel closest to Him. It is during these times that I can sing sweet songs of melody to Him, and I know He is there listening. It is during those times, during the midnight hour, that He places others on my heart to pray for.

Just as Paul and Silas prayed during the midnight hour, and things began to happen, I too find that this is the best time for me to pray. The best time for me to meditate. The best time for me to reflect on the past, and prepare for the future.

So, I say this to all the Night Owls. Don't be so hard on yourselves. Take this time to draw closer to the God who loves you. Take this time to pray for others, and also to pray for yourself. Take this time to sometimes just sit quietly and listen. We might be of a different breed, but He loves us just the same. Yes, God hears the Night Owls too!

Love,

Lemon